This Dog’s Open Letter To That Noise Outside Is Guaranteed To Make You Laugh

To That Noise Outside,

Hey! Hey! I hear you, Noise! Hey! You are there and I hear you! Hey!

There is nowhere you can hide, Noise. If I can’t see  you from looking out of one window, Iwill check all the windows in the house. And if I can’t see what you out of any windows, I will stand on the couch where I can see all and I will bark at you until you reveal yourself!

dog open letter to noise outside

Sometimes you are a low thump, and sometimes you are a high screech, and sometimes, are just the “wind.” At least that’s what you want the human’s to think.  I am smarter than you! I can sit on command. I can fetch a ball. I can find the treat under the cup. Youcannot outwit me.

dog open letter to noise outside

Even if I haven’t heard you in awhile, I am always alert. The next time I hear you, I will bark and I will howl. My ears will stand at full attention. I will grumble, snort and run to the door to wait for you. Then, I will run to my human and let them know I have heardyou.  Next, I will run back to the door to wait for you. I will do this as many times as it takes. Eventually my human will open the door and mark my words, Noise, I will destroy you.

You leave me no choice, Noise. Even if my human tells me to quiet down, I will not. Even if they tell me you are nothing, I will persist. I will bark so loud that I will be the noisiest noise that ever made noise, Noise!

dog open letter to noise outside

To you, Noise, I am the danger. I am the one who barks.



P.S. Please don’t startle me again, it makes me pee a little.


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